Don't get me wrong, I think its great when we can find similarities of ourselves in other people or we can share a passion for something with another person. But I believe that it is only significant if it is genuine, not something that is forced or so embedded in one's head that it eventually becomes some sort of a reality.
What needs to exist between two people are a few things: trust, respect, love and passion. No where here does it say that we need to agree all the time, or share the same music or movie interests. All are a great asset to a relationship but really aren't critical for its survival. Two people can be complete opposites in many ways but if they possess the four things mentioned above their relationship has much more of a chance of surviving than that of people's whose relationship is based on an intense obsession of The Office or The Beatles. Because the both of you could have seen every Beatles interview imaginable yet cheat on each other due to a lack of respect whereas another couple could have completely opposite interests yet possess the four most crucial aspects of a relationship and get on just fine.
You need to trust the person you are dating because without it, your relationship can become quite suffocating as each partner cannot trust the actions of their significant other outside of the relationship. So they hold on and become insecure. The constant questioning also leads to a lack of respect, another important aspect of any relationship. To respect someone means to honestly accept them for who they are, despite their bad taste in music, snoring, or any other somewhat annoying quirk. If you respect them then that quirk is no longer annoying. I mean it may not really float your boat or anything but you would probably be able to laugh it off or ignore it as there are probably a slew of other qualities that make up for the fact that your girlfriend loves Justin Bieber or something. Then there is love and passion. You can love someone but you also need passion. You know that feeling of physically missing them if you haven't seen them in a while....Yearning for their embrace...
I dislike how in relationships sometimes I find myself developing interests that I didn't have prior to the relationship but feel its necessary to develop them in order to become more appealing. Sometimes I wonder whether they are inauthentic interests or it is just the exposure to my significant other that has caused me to develop an authentic interest in something. With each new experience we change as people and alter the things that hold our attention.
I just honestly believe that we should never feel like we don't measure up to a particular standard due to the fact that we are different. It is our differences that make us special and we should be proud of what we love or are interested in regardless of others. If the person that you are dating or have feelings for doesn't appreciate your uniqueness then maybe they aren't worth your time. There is no standard to measure up to, the only thing that is necessary is the commitment of truth that you have to yourself.
Life is about constantly reinventing yourself, and the many aspects that constitute it. But one thing is for sure is that every once in a while you should stop and evaluate your life and make sure that everything in it is consistent with your beliefs, and stays true to your essence. It is your essence that will attract someone who is right for you and who will embody trust, respect, love and passion. If your essence is not authentic or confused then it will be difficult for you to find authenticity in someone else.
It starts from within, and always be proud...always be you...
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